Gerascophobia

(in medias res)

“Because at some point, Peter Pan has to grow up.”

“Why’s that? He’s Peter Pan.”

“Because not everyone else is. That’s the point!”

“What’s the point?”

“Doesn’t it seem kind of depressing? To see all these friends and family members grow old and die for eternity? It’s like…I don’t know…some kind of reverse vampirism or something.”

“I guess if that how you want to look at it. That’s the part that sounds depressing to me.”

“What’s that?”

“Your mindset, that’s what.”

(pause) car driving down road (unpause)

“So you don’t think that living forever sounds just a tad bit shitty?”

“I guess it does if I had to fly around thinking about that shit all the time. What the fuck, dude? You don’t think that living as long as possible is not just a TAD bit appealing? Think of all the people you could meet?”

“And watch die.”

“AND watch die, but also watch live. Help live. Learn from. Experience things with.”

“AND probably get fucked over by. And watch die tragically the minute you get close, and…”

“Alright. Shut the fuck up.”

“Huh?”

“Dude, if you are going to bring this vibe into the evening, I’d rather cut it short now.”

“Sorry.”

(pause) car driving down road (unpause)

cough

“It’s funny. The biggest train wrecks of human beings are the ones that act like they have to save the rest of the world. It’s so stupid. Here I am, all fucking high and mighty, looking to watch everyone else fail so I can salvage the miserable lie of a life I have been living for the past however many years. It’s sad, really. It’s really fucking sad.”

cough

“Yeah, I get…”

“You know…fuck them. Those are the same cowards that do their best to ruin everyone else that comes into contact with them. I forgive many of them for various things, but I never forget. Most of the time, I just turn it over to karma.”

cough

“I know what you…”

“I don’t even understand toxic people run rampant in my head sometimes. I really enjoy life a lot more when those narcissistic, condescending, conniving fuckers. It’s all about them. Sometimes I can’t even get a word in edgewise when I’m around them because they are so full of themselves. They go on and on…”

“Shit, I get it, man. Just the other…”

“I just don’t get it. It’s not just in my head is it? Is it just in my head? Am I crazy?”

“No, but…”

“Shit. Nevermind. Fuck it. Nope. Not gonna do it. Not gonna let them ruin this trip.”

“Who?”

“See what I mean? So busy thinking about your own self that you didn’t even listen to a goddamn thing I said.”

(pause) car driving down road (unpause)

“You know what drives me nuts?”

“What?”

“When I think I have something figured out, then it escapes me by the time I get to writing it down.”

The car hiccuped. A possum, larger than any seen during the drive, took its own life. No other reason for a possum to be out during the day. Just another statistic. Road kill.

“Like what?”

“I can’t remember on cue, dude. If I could, then I wouldn’t be pissed about it.”

In the rearview mirror, the possum’s neck contorted enough to show a snarl (or was it a smile?) of teeth.

Wonder what its last thought was? Did it involve me dying in a car wreck? Was it angry or serene? It must suck to be a possum. What is the point? of a possum? 

“Sure.”

 

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