Afternoon thoughts

I read somewhere a while ago about how, since our entire physical being is comprised of billions upon billions of cells in a lifetime, we regenerate completely every 7 years. Since I am writing this prior to finding that particular source, you may have to take this with a grain of salt. However, if this is true, if this regeneration takes place completely every 7 years, this has given me proof that my soul, the one element of my being that does not require cellular life, exists, and that it will remain alive well after my mortal shell has retired.

I know there is much more to it, but I have contemplated this quite a bit over the past few weeks. I have been taking an extremely introspective approach to living this past year. I went through a very dark time in early 2015. I never wanted to relive the horrors I thought I had left behind in 2012, but I allowed myself to lose sight of the things I had acquired, both material and spiritual, as a result of my dedication to a more positive and productive way of living.

However, with guidance by the omnipresent force that is my definition of God, I’m here now. One year sober. Humble, yet more confident than ever. This confidence is just one of the many gifts, more spiritual than monetary, I have been presented with since I stepped away from my mortal enemy, my crutch, my sword to destroy me. (Sorry for the melodramatic line. My brain was telling my fingers to be poetic. They obviously suck at it.)

I have been trying to work towards evolving into the best me I can be from this point on.

I started reading a book on neuroplasticity a week or so ago. The book, Reclaim Your Brain by Joseph A. Annibali, is a reader friendly introduction into this fascinating philosophy and practice. Since I started this year long sobriety, I was prescribed an anti-anxiety medication, Celexa, to help calm my nerves and start my new life of dealing with things on life’s terms. Now that I close in on this one-year milestone, I want to ween myself off and try to live without it for a while. One of the scary things about current pharmaceuticals is the withdrawal. Withdrawals from these medications are sometimes subtle, so it is highly suggested, and I am putting forth the effort to follow proper protocol, to taper with the assistance of a medical professional. What that basically means is that I have to let my doc know. Ok. I get it. I feel it is also extremely important that I have social support, and that I be open and honest with those closest to me as this tapering process occurs. I don’t need “yes men/women;” I need honesty. This is the only way that I will know behavioral changes I may not recognize. I also need to be honest with myself.

Regardless, and apologies for the previous digression, this book is a game-changer for me at this moment. I think the whole thing about legit philosophies in the ruins of “self-help” eras past (by “ruins,” I mean the after effects of the previous 4 decades of self-help audiences and the search for the holy grail of whatever their poisons were i.e. money, confidence, sex, etc), it is somewhat a challenge to find ones that takes the type of holistic approach I have been searching for in such a realistic and readable form. Most of the suggested practices are researched and/or designed by Annibali; they are based in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and fairly simple, but not always easy…especially for a attention-deficit S.O.B. like me.

I was about to digress again, but I realize that this is actually just one big digression on a blog that I designed strictly to get me out of writer’s blog, so it is what it is, which is ongoing digression. I like digressions. I hope you do too.

2 thoughts on “Afternoon thoughts

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